Really need to...

I really need to get back to the blogging world. I need to post once a week so I can look back and remember everything about my kids when they were little. This week we got rid of Adam's binky. He was only using it at night but it really has been a big deal for him that he doesnt have it. It's so much harder to get him to just lay there and sleep. He cries for atleast a half an hour after we put him to bed and wakes up at least once during the night crying and asking for it. I am emotionally worn out. It also doesn't help that rusty is gone 13 hours of the day. I am grateful that he is not in mesquite anymore but I still feel like I don't see him. Adam only sees him maybe an hour out of the say and Zeke doesn't ever see him. It has been really hard on all of us. I don't know who it is effecting more, Adam or myself. I can just tell that something is off in his attitude. I know it's because rusty is always gone. He lights up the second rusty gets home and doesn't want to go to bed because he knows his daddy wont be here when he wakes up. Hopefully his job slows down soon so we can all get better emotionally. I also know it's very hard on Rusty. He hasn't quite gotten over being burned almost a year and a half ago. I know he is stressed out and doesn't like his job very much but I try to remind him that he should be grateful that he even has a job. We have been able to purchase so many needed things because work has picked up a bit. We got a new couch and new carpet in the whole house. I love it. It really has lifted my spirits about our home. It would help even more if Rusty were home more often. Zeke is getting so big. He is 5 months old and growing like a week. He is already almost too big for his 6-9 month clothes. He is such a sweet boy and i am so grateful he is a part of our family. I love my family and am grateful for everything I have. I just need to express it more and not be negative about things that might not go my way.