Tuesday, April 24, 2012

So many things...

A lot of things have happened but I never feel like writing anything down until it's something negative or crazy. I know I shouldn't be like that. I want to remember all the good and fun times but I can never bring myself to sit down and type. Sure I have plenty of time but I think it's the fact that I'm just too lazy to do it. It feels like so many things are happening at once and I'm starting to get bad anxiety. First, I've been working at Iceberg for over a month now. It's pretty fun and I really enjoy the break from home. I should be one of those mothers that just loves being home all day every day but I'm not. I go stir crazy. Secondly, Rusty got laid off 2 months ago and just started a new job yesterday. On the way to his first day our little 88 corolla died. Needs a new engine. Now ain't that a peach. I think we have bad luck with cars. Obviously it will not be worth getting a new engine so we are going to try to sell it as is and find some miraculous way of getting another car. Or scooter haha. With both of us working and the fact that we have children, we have to have 2 cars in case something happens when we are home and we need to leave. There will also be days when I will have to leave for work before Rusty gets home.
Zeke will be 1 on Thursday and it just blows my mind that it's already been a year since I gave birth to him. It's just mind boggling to me that he was ever inside of me. Now usually you get a hospital bill within just a few months after the birth but for some reason, CHIP decided to drag it out until just yesterday. I got an explanation of benefits showing what they paid and what they didn't. The portion that's left for us to pay? Two thousand freaking dollars!!! I am not happy. I was wishing and hoping since I still hadn't received a bill that I never would, but alas I did. We are still paying for Adam so now it looks like we will be paying for Zeke for the next 2-3 years too. And I am starting to get baby hungry for a little girl. I really want a baby girl. I am afraid though that since there are so many around me with multiple children, all of which are boys, that my next one will be a boy too. But since now we will have a couple extra bills, I will have to keep my job for a while and hold off on another baby. I'm fine with that, it will just be harder to get up in the morning once we change to our summer hours. Plus I don't think I'm ready to be pregnant again yet. I get fat and cranky and my body hates me when pregnant. I know things will work out for the best, I am just very impatient and wish it would all just magically be better right now.